It’s been a while since I’ve written anything personal but I’ve been running around like a chicken with its head cut off. So instead of writing about myself, I’m going to point you to a really good blog post about something that I struggle with every day–depression. Go to http://bitterempire.com/rain-roof-managing-depression-night/ and read it, seriously, it’s good. My favorite paragraph is this:
What a demoralizing way to exist, you know? What a stupid life you’re stuck with when the first thing you have to do in the morning and the last thing you have to do at night is not die. And what a stupid life you’re stuck with when you have to concentrate wholly on yourself just to get off the floor and put one foot in front of the other. All the automatic motions have to be done in manual with this damn thing.
And for the last year I don’t know if I’m actually truly busy or have I just been stuck on manual. All I can seem to focus on is the next thing that’s right in front of me. It seems to work to keep the worst of my depression at bay. But it sure as hell doesn’t allow for much reflection, which is crucial to writing. Anyway, I’m off to do the very next thing in front of me, which would be doing some database queries. Can you feel my enthusiam through these magical web toobs?