An automatic transmission sure would be nice

Posted: January 26, 2016 in Blogging, Health, Personal
Tags: ,

It’s been a while since I’ve written anything personal but I’ve been running around like a chicken with its head cut off.  So instead of writing about myself, I’m going to point you to a really good blog post about something that I struggle with every day–depression.  Go to and read it, seriously, it’s good.  My favorite paragraph is this:

What a demoralizing way to exist, you know? What a stupid life you’re stuck with when the first thing you have to do in the morning and the last thing you have to do at night is not die. And what a stupid life you’re stuck with when you have to concentrate wholly on yourself just to get off the floor and put one foot in front of the other. All the automatic motions have to be done in manual with this damn thing.

And for the last year I don’t know if I’m actually truly busy or have I just been stuck on manual. All I can seem to focus on is the next thing that’s right in front of me. It seems to work to keep the worst of my depression at bay. But it sure as hell doesn’t allow for much reflection, which is crucial to writing. Anyway, I’m off to do the very next thing in front of me, which would be doing some database queries. Can you feel my enthusiam through these magical web toobs?

  1. I feel it! (For reference: )
    Sorry hon, it does suck big time. Anything I can do to help?

    • DRangedinaz says:

      Well if you know how to create T-SQL stored procedures that would be great! jk
      I’m okay. Just haven’t had much of a break in a really long time and I’m getting burnt out at work and at home. BUT am going to take a few days to kick back here soon. How are you all doing? Have you bought the car yet?

      • Hubby probably does! Glad to hear the burnout is going to get a quench soon. Going somewhere or just going to hide under the duvet for a few days?
        We actually ordered it yesterday! 4-6 weeks to wait (and somehow scratch up the rest of the cash they wanted). Yikes.

  2. alopecia says:

    As I’ve mentioned before, I’ve only suffered one brief bout of deep depression in my life (touch wood).

    I’d never thought of it that way, but that was very much my experience: nothing was automatic, everything became a chore to be performed, and the only thing that temporarily drowned out the little voice calling me inadequate and friendless was concentrating on dull routine.

    Thank you for the link. It’ll come in handy when—it’s never *if*, is it?—someone says something stupid about depression.

  3. XaurreauX says:

    I can totally relate to being almost completely paralyzed.

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