You may have heard that people are so distraught over the President winning re-election that they are circulating petitions in 20 different states to secede (now I’m seeing reports of 30 states).  Texas has actually approached a “threshold”, which means someone will have to officially respond.

Here’s what I would like to see happen:  let them go.  Seriously, let them go.  Here are some the benefits for the rest of the U.S. if they do leave the Union.

1.  No fighting, a lot less bloodshed

2.  We will no longer pay for those Red States that actually take in more money that they pay out.  That’s right, the majority of the states on the list are a HUGE financial burden to the rest of us.  South Carolina, for every dollar paid in taxes, actually gets $1.92 back.  What’s that, almost 100% profit?  Alabama gets $2.03 back.  Mississippi gets $2.47 and West Virginia gets $2.57–250% profit.

What we could do with millions of dollars wasted on these states!  They’ve got quite the racket going, don’t they?  If they don’t want it, the rest of us want it back.  Every state that leeches off loyal, tax paying Americans can go so long as their governor sits down, writes a check out for the millions, nay billions, they’ve taken from the rest of us AND once the check clears the bank.

2.  We no longer have to provide any armed forces for them….no weapons, equipment, food, etc for their National Guard units.  Indeed most of that doesn’t belong to the state but to the Federal Government.  How about you give all that stuff back, hmmmm?

3.  We gain a buffer zone.  If they are a border state, particularly with Mexico, we no longer have to worry about over the border incursions by drug cartels.  Take Texas for instance.  The thousands of border patrol agents, ATF agents, DEA agents that help to control what would be a complete free-for-all without them could drop back to north of Texas.  Of course, Texas would have to create their own border patrol with their flush state budget.  And if Texas didn’t provide that border security, it would be first and foremost a no-man’s land, that the remaining U.S. would use as a physical buffer zone.  I’m sure the citizens of TX want to live in a no-man’s land.  I mean, look at how great the Palestinians are doing!

4.  Less to worry about.  In addition to joint protection stuff we would get back, there’s a ton of other things we’d no longer have to provide that these states would have to pay for.  Again, lets use TX as an example.  In 2011 they had a shortfall (deficit) and they had to slash services drastically (plus leave some stuff off the books and finagle a little).  They increased taxes across the board and lo and behold they might end up with a nice surplus in 2012.  But just set that aside folks because you will need it to pay for your new national defense force, your border presence with Mexico (good luck with that, BTW).  You’ll need that surplus to build and care for all of your highways–the Federal Government used to do that.  Any national parks get taken back?  Yep, you’ll pay for that too.  Medicaid and Medicare?  No matching funds, so you’ll need to cover that 100% or a whole lot of old people and  the parent’s of sick children are going to go bezerk, quite literally.  Oh, don’t forget a diplomatic corps, a spy agency, and embassies around the world.  School lunches and all the free food that the states receive to feed America’s children when their parents can’t.  Also, a stock exchange system, regulations for such things, a currency system…I could go on all day long.  Do you think that surplus would cover all that?  Do you really?

5.  And end to the whining.  We wouldn’t have to listen to them bitch any more.  They didn’t like paying high taxes to the Federal Government and they were always whining about it.  Now they’ll have whine about TX to TX.   I’m wonder what makes them think they’ll enjoy paying high taxes to the new nation any more than the old one?  Maybe they  won’t.  Maybe the counties can secede from the state.  This new version of “trickle down” economics should work really fine for you.  Loyal Americans will watch your disintegration with mixture of pity and disgust (and fear for any relatives who are stuck within your borders).

6.  Increase in tax base for the loyal states.  Speaking of, millions of refugees, half of your population essentially, wanting to remain loyal to the U.S. will leave your state.  It would account for a good portion of the tax base that you would need so desperately to pay for all the stuff mentioned in above. You can’t force them to stay.  All you states claiming to love liberty so much, surely you wouldn’t force them to stay? Who would end up being the jackbooted thugs in this scenario, I wonder?

7.  Cement the power of the Democratic Party.  Of the 20 states (now I’m seeing it’s actually 30), 14 voted for R0mney and most of those traditionally vote Republican.  Their electoral votes sum 153.  Furthermore all the Liberals and Moderates that exodus en masse from these states will go to the remaining states, some of whom used to vote Republican but won’t in future because they’ll be absorbing the millions of refugees who are not likely to vote Republican.  Basically the loss of these states will ensure that a Democrat would be elected to the White House every four years for the foreseeable future.  It would also drastically affect the composition of Congress.  Then maybe, just maybe the Dems will pursue a truly liberal agenda, because I got news for you folks, President Obama is a centrist in many, many ways.  He is not even remotely “soshulist”.

All that above was snark, now here’s some serious thoughts.  

How many thinking secession is an option?  There are some Blue States on that list, about 6 of them (again the list is changing as I type this).  I suspect in those cases they wouldn’t really secede.  And in truth, I don’t think the other 14 will either.  Any yahoo can create a petition and 49% of the Country is seething mad that the “Empty Suit” or the Ni-Clang or the Muslim Manchurian candidate (pick your reason, it doesn’t really matter) won another election so they’re just venting.  But what really worries me is the actual number who are signing the petitions.  Between LA and TX they have over 50,000 signatures.   How many will sign those petitions?  A hundred thousand, two hundred thousand?  How many agree but are too afraid to sign a petition?

We need each other.  What about the response from those who that the proposal to secede is, in itself, a treasonous act?  Loyal Americans have posted petitions to have anyone who signed those petitions to be stripped of their citizenship and exiled.  Some liberals might even want their state to secede because they are so very tired of supporting everyone else and being told that they aren’t patriotic, that they are stupid, cool aid drinkers, that they don’t contribute anything, etc, basically getting shit by the other side when these labels are demonstrably untrue.  I.e., most of the 17 states that support the other 33 tend to vote Democratic. Take CA as an example.  It is a huge economy bigger than many small countries but takes a loss of $0.19 for every federal tax dollar they pay out….We need them, more than they need us.  Still want to call them lazy hippies?  We’d all better pray that CA doesn’t secede, seriously.

We like and feel obligated to being a part of the U.S.  See what these Secessionist don’t understand that the vast majority of Americans like us being the United States.  Many of them will have taken oaths to defend our country from all enemies foreign or domestic (did you notice the domestic part?) and they consider that oath binding unto death (I’ve sworn this oath at least twice in my life and I meant it).    These Secessionist are awakening a sleeping and irritable giant that is getting tired of the far right (which seems to have taken over the Republican party)  whining about how they’re going to take their ball and go home because they lost.  Most of the time, when a Republican wins, you don’t see Liberals trying to secede.  You see them get mobilized and try to elect someone else next time around.  But they’re waking up now in a very different way and they’re getting angry.

That’s the problem though isn’t?  It always starts like this and if fanned, creates an unbridgeable chasm that eventually tears a nation apart OR results in the suppression of one of the sides by the other.  If these conservatives truly want liberty, make the system we have better.  Get rid of Lobbyists and the influence of the banks and the large corporations, improve the efficacy of voting for every citizen (not just the ones that look like Beaver Cleaver), get rid of the Patriot Act, do some real campaign finance reform…so many things that would make our system more fair, more transparent, more balanced, more agile.  Then the issues will be what’s important not either side’s hurt feefees or racism (which like it or not, does play a role for many secessionists just as it did 152 years ago) or insults (like 47% of us being moochers) or any of the BS.  We need to be more grown up about this.  This is not a game and this secession symbolism, because that’s all it really is, does actually hurt us a nation.  It’s plants yet another seed of hate and misunderstanding that could grow into another deadly plant that kills over half a million of us.

  1. alopecia says:

    Benefit number 8: The entertainment value of watching red states try to govern themselves according to their (mad, mutually-incompatible) principles. The flailing about and hurling of invective would be high-larious.

    Slightly off-topic, and not just because these petitions ostentatiously mention peaceful secession: It was before Bob changed over to Disqus (’cause Disqus doesn’t know what I’m talking about), but a long time ago I posted a comment that some knowledgeable people had gamed out how Civil War II: Revenge of the Dumbstupids would go, assuming the seceding states—basically, the Southeast—retained all the military hardware currently located there. In a straight-ahead war, the New Confederacy would get crushed pretty much immediately: not enough people, not enough materiel. If the United States blockaded the New Confederacy, which would certainly be feasible, the New Confederacy could last a couple of years or so. The only way the New Confederacy could “win” would be to launch every last nuclear-tipped anything at every military and political target in the US and hope like hell not very many nuclear weapons got lobbed back at them.

    I honestly wonder if the idiots fapping (sorry to lower the tone—bowdlerize as desired) to “Red Dawn” understand that.

    • drangedinaz says:

      No, they don’t really understand just like they didn’t understand 152 years ago. The US even with fewer states is the baddest mofo on the planet and if they try anything short of annihilation (which would annihilate them too), they are gonna get hammered. They really don’t understand that there is no such thing as peaceful secession. Eejits

  2. Hmm, Alabama has Huntsville – a centre for NASA. I’d hate to lose that, but the rest can go. Can these eejits really not wait four years!?!

  3. mhasegawa says:

    Some how I doubt that the majority in any of those states would be willing to fight to leave. And that is what it would take as there really is no peaceful way to leave in the Constitution or any law. There is no legal path.

    But I agree that if there were a way it would be amusing to see…

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