It’s not even 8 am here in sunny Phoenix and already the list of assholes is growing long.  Before I start the list, I would be remiss if I did not pause and define what I mean by asshole.  Believe it or not, an asshole is a recognized type of person (similar to the “douchebag”) we all know them when we see them.  Here is how I define it:

A person who behaves in a such a way as to cause difficulties for others and/or offend the sensibility of others with little to no concern for how others might be negatively affected. They often do not care how they appear to others and, in some cases, actually want others to perceive them negatively.

So, without further ado, here’s the list:

  1. The chick who caused the 7 car pile up that I was involved in last week.  Turns out that she is most likely the culprit who started the entire chain of events.  She’s an asshole because she was driving dangerously WITHOUT insurance.  She not only endangered the lives of everyone around her, but she’s cost us all a ton of money, hassle and not a little emotional upset all for the sake of her selfishness.  I hope any satisfaction that she may have gotten from screaming into her cell phone at whoever pissed her off that day offsets the ugly reality of her own medical costs, the difficulties and associated costs in being sued by the insurance companies of the 6 victims, and charges filed against her for driving uninsured (and probably unregistered).  Evidently the poor man in the truck that she flipped is having some serious mental ramifications of the accident, and no wonder.  Every day driving to and from work, I’m scared when I get on the highway.  I can’t imagine what he has been going through.  This young woman is a Grade-A “AZ Asshole”.
  2. Jared Loughner will be in court today for a mental competence hearing.  He is the defendant accused of murdering 6 innocent bystanders and injuring 14 others during an attempted assassination of Rep. Gabrielle Giffords in the parking lot of a grocery store in Tucson, AZ on Jan. 9, 2011.   While it will be argued that he was and is mentally ill, the real standard was if he was ill enough not to know right from wrong.  I’m no psychiatrist but I think he knew what he was doing was wrong and he didn’t care.  So, he qualifies as an AZ Asshole.
  3. Arizona Politicians:  Sen. Jon Kyl, Sen. John McCain, Gov. Jan Brewer, Secretary of State Ken Bennett, state Senate President Russell Pearce, former Rep.  John Shadegg, and former Rep. J.D. Hayworth — this is like a list of Grand Poobahs of AZ Assholes.  Sen. Kyl,  a frequent award winner on my blog, has again done something so irritating and so public that it can only be seen as a big, purposeful F-U.  He received $3,000 in campaign contributions from The Fiesta Bowl Committee, which was improper.  As a non-profit organization, they cannot give money to campaigns nor can they recompense contributions given by employees, which may have been the case here.  Sen. Kyl was not the only one to receive funds (all told $48,000 was given out between 200 and 2009), but he has been the most vocal and rude about the return of the money.  He donated it, he claims, to the Red Cross for tornado relief.  On the surface this seems reasonable, doesn’t it?  There are a couple of problems with this “donation” solution.  Federal Law specifically states that “tainted money” must be returned to the donor and does not allow for third-party options.  Moreover, without recovery of the donations The Fiesta Bowl Committee could lose its non-profit status.  Third, how can we the people be sure that the money was actually donated.  Fourth, please tell me that Kyl cannot claim a federal tax deduction as a result of the donation.  Sen. McCain will also be donating his funds.  Gov. Brewer and J.D. Hayworth have said their campaign funds are empty and closed so they can’t return it.  Shadegg, Pearce and Bennet haven’t responded to requests to return the money yet (at least so far as I can find in the news).
  4. Sheriff Joe Arpaio was in a news conference last night talking about how disgusted he was by the arrest of three MCSO employees after a raid that wrapped up a lengthy internal investigation into accusations of drug and human trafficking ring.  Some would say that he deserves credit for the investigation.  However, if you dig deeper you find out that the three individuals were suspected as early 2000, so it’s taken the MCSO about 10 years to actually do something. The culmination of the investigation is also very curiously timed since all of the revelations of corruption within the MCSO against Arpaio seem to also be coming out right now.  Call me cynical but I think Joe is using this as a publicity stunt to make himself look good.
  5. AZ State Lawmakers – Following the lead of other sarcastic Republican state governors and legislators, they passed a law allowing for a new check box on the state income-tax forms called the “I Didn’t Pay Enough” fund.  Since the state has been in such a deep deficit hole and many services are being cut or are being threatened with elimination, voters are beginning to get worried.  Evidently, the legislators heard from far too many of them that the state needs to collect more in taxes.  Those silly, pragmatic voters!  So instead of taking the voters’ suggestion seriously they instead responded with a joke.  Turns out the joke is on them….almost 400 people actually checked the box and put money into the fund.  What are the odds that these legislators will actually start listening and taking seriously what voters have to say?  Not very likely and that’s why they’re assholes.

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